Poetry

Poetry

Two uncollected poems by Blake Morrison :

Against Dieting

Please, darling, no more diets.
I've read the books on why it's
good for one's esteem.
I've watched you jogging lanes and pounding treadmills.
I've even shed some kilos of my own.
But enough. What are love handles
between friends? For half a stone
it isn’t worth the sweat.
I've had it up to here with crispbread.
I doubt the premise, too.
Try to see it from my point of view.
I want not less but more of you.

Stop

As of today, the peace process will be intensified
through war. These are safe bombs, and any fatalities
will be minors. The targets are strictly military
or civilian. Anomalies may occur, but none
out of the ordinary. This release has been prepared by
official Stop

First reports indicate a major break through
hospital roofs. The bombs were strictly targeted at
random personnel. Any errors are a mere blip
on the radar screen. Until our aim is achieved we will continue
missing. In modern war, mistakes are never made
official Stop

We can confirm that many personnel now enjoy peace,
underground. Several terrorists have been
created overnight. Our smart bombs are subject only to
intelligence errors. Certain one-off tragic events
will regrettably recur. We anticipate a stepping up
of funerals Stop

In another time-zone, the bombs fall unsafely.
There are reports of urgent talk under the rubble.
Numberless children lie accounted for in morgues.
Regrettably, we are unable to offer regrets today.
This poem has been subject to certain restrictions.
Stop.